September 8, 2025
Adding Heart to Your Estate Plan
When most people think of estate planning, their minds go right to the typical legal documents of wills, trusts, and powers of attorney. These are important tools that primarily focus on the transfer of money and property, but most of the time, they don’t tell the whole story. Your estate plan will share who gets what and how, but the plan doesn’t always define who you were as a person and how deeply you cared for your family. You can share these thoughts with your family through a legacy love letter.
A legacy love letter is not a legal document, it’s not about numbers or assets, nor does it carry any binding instructions for your estate plan. Instead, it is a very personal, emotional message that speaks from your heart. In your own voice, it allows you to express your love, reflect on fun memories, offer wisdom, and say goodbye to your loved ones in a very personal way.
These types of letters can be very impactful. For example, many of us have felt the effect of grief at some point in our lives. It’s an emotion that is overwhelming and can be difficult to get through. Sometimes a love letter can provide a loved one with comfort, healing, and a close connection to you during one of the most difficult times in their lives. It’s something they can hold on to in moments when they miss you most.
A letter can also provide a sense of personal legacy. We often think of legacy in terms of wealth or property, but your legacy is also your character, your personal beliefs, your wisdom, and your experiences. By sharing these parts of yourself through a love letter, you have an opportunity to provide a true personal picture of who you are and in a way that is greater than your estate planning documents ever could.
If your estate plan includes decisions that might surprise or disappoint someone, such as unequal distributions, your voice in a personal letter can explain your reasoning with compassion. By thoughtfully explaining why, whether it’s due to prior financial support, differing needs, or personal circumstances, a letter can reduce confusion or resentment and guide the family in your desire to preserve harmony after you are gone.
For younger generations, your letter becomes a piece of family history. Grandchildren and great-grandchildren, having the opportunity to read your letter years from now, can give them the ability to learn who you are and the love you have for your family. I am a believer that children learn not just from what we do as adults around them, but also from what we believe and share with them. Allowing them to learn who you are and in your own voice, is meaningful and can help them stay connected to their family roots.
When you think about who you would like to write a legacy love letter to, there are no rules or guidelines to follow. You might consider writing one to your spouse or partner, children, grandchildren, siblings, parents, extended family members, close friends, or possibly a mentor who has helped shape you into the person you are today. A love letter can be written to any person who has played a meaningful role in your life.
The best time to write your letter is now while your thoughts are clear and intentional. Waiting until later risks forgetting important details, having to write under pressure when words may not come as easily, or losing the opportunity all together due to unforeseen circumstances. Doing it now also allows you to reflect thoughtfully on what truly matters, revise as needed, and ensure the letter serves its purpose. Once the letter is complete, be sure to let your executor and/or your estate planning attorney know the letter exists. If you choose to leave your message through a video recording rather than a handwritten or typed letter, be sure to leave instructions on how it can be accessed.
At the end of the day, money can be spent, property can be divided, but your words carry a power to last far beyond your lifetime. Long after the details of your estate plan are settled, your legacy love letter will continue to provide comfort, inspire, and keep your family connected to you. So, the next time you revisit your estate plan, don’t forget to include the piece that speaks directly from your heart. Your voice, your words, your love ~ it’s a precious inheritance to share with your family.